I've never been a part of the “in crowd.”
That's always been true, whether we are talking about junior high and high school, or even more recently in various church groups or work related activities.
But it has always been MUCH easier for me to talk to people at Beauty & the Beast conventions than just about anywhere else.
I've been to the big cons of years ago when there were hundreds of people in attendance and always thought I did very well. Even though, in reality, I may have spoken to a relatively few people. But to me it was a lot of talking!
In recent years, with smaller groups of 100 or so at the conventions, it has occurred to me that even though the numbers are smaller now, there are actually so many more people that you want to chat with
that it's almost harder to get to everyone.
that it's almost harder to get to everyone.
There was some discussion this year about what it's like to be a new person, or “con virgin” as they are affectionately called, at one of today's conventions.
Beauty & the Beast fans are, as a rule, the most friendly people I have ever known, but I guess it's possible for any group that has known each other as long as we have to appear clique-ish to newcomers. Like I said, I've never been in the “in crowd” - certainly never been in a clique. In fact, the very sound of the word strikes dread in my heart! So maybe you can understand how much I would hate the thought that anyone sees any group I'm a part of in that way.
So, I've been feeling the need to explain how my group of friends/roommates came to be. There are six of us now and sometimes we may take up almost a whole table, leaving little room for newcomers to find a seat with us. And I feel bad about that – I really do. But our group didn't happen overnight, that I can assure you. In fact, it's probably a more complex story than most - and one that I find quite amazing myself when I stop and think about it.
I attended my first few Beauty & the Beast conventions with an assortment of people. It was like they appeared to help this shy little girl get to the convention and then just faded into the background.
The first was a local fan that I knew here in New Jersey. She was first and foremost a Ron Perlman fan and was only going to South of Oz to see him. She had no interest in going to any cons after that because he did not attend again for many years. So, naturally, we lost touch and she eventually moved out of state.
The next year I took a chance and asked my best friend at the time. She was not by any means a Beauty & the Beast fan, but was interested in going to Las Vegas, the location of Tunnel Con II. Not long after that Vegas trip we had major problems and ceased being best friends.
The next two years I roomed with a fan from New York who happened to be a Catholic nun. The first year, at Great Expectations, she and her roommate were desperate to find a room because they had put off making a reservation and the hotel was, by that time, completely booked. I was happy to have them in the room that I had booked for myself.
The following year, the sister was already thinking about not coming. I encouraged her to come, saying how I would love to see her again. Well, that turned out to be a mistake. She was in a very sour mood throughout the weekend and I soon learned that we weren't the budding friends I thought we were. Shortly after that con, she dropped out of Fandom, and, seemingly, off the face of the earth.
As a result of that experience, the next year, in 1995, I decided I was better off not spinning the Wheel of Roommates. I didn't have one and that was that. BUT...I knew I couldn't not go because I needed my B&B "fix." Looking back, it's hard to believe I did this myself, but I went to the con alone. I mean, I had almost done it two years ago. So now was the time. I will admit that I had an extra added incentive that year. The convention was in Los Angeles and I had a long time non-B&B pen pal there. We made plans to meet for the first time after the convention.
As fate would have it, that was the year Kat came alone to her first con. We only spoke briefly that year but exchanged addresses (snail mail – that is) over a copy of a pic I asked her to send me of the two of us on the Griffith Park Carousel. (We just happened to be sitting next to each other on the carousel when someone offered to take our photo and used her camera.) We began writing to each other and by the next year, we both felt we knew each other well enough to room together.
CP says that year in LA was her first con too but I don't think I noticed her that year. It was the following year in Norfolk that the three of us spent the afternoon together in Colonial Williamsburg and I realized that we got along so well. Kat and I continued to see CP at the cons and had long chats with her, sometimes late into the night in our room, but she didn't become our official roommate until she needed a place to stay in 2000.
As fate would have it, that was the year Kat came alone to her first con. We only spoke briefly that year but exchanged addresses (snail mail – that is) over a copy of a pic I asked her to send me of the two of us on the Griffith Park Carousel. (We just happened to be sitting next to each other on the carousel when someone offered to take our photo and used her camera.) We began writing to each other and by the next year, we both felt we knew each other well enough to room together.
CP says that year in LA was her first con too but I don't think I noticed her that year. It was the following year in Norfolk that the three of us spent the afternoon together in Colonial Williamsburg and I realized that we got along so well. Kat and I continued to see CP at the cons and had long chats with her, sometimes late into the night in our room, but she didn't become our official roommate until she needed a place to stay in 2000.
After a few years of The Three Musketeers, it happened that both Kat and CP, due to real life issues, could not attend the same convention. That was 2004 in Kansas City and I was again left without roommates – or so I thought.
That's when I joined up with Deb and Cyndi.
That's when I joined up with Deb and Cyndi.
We had added Deb the year before in 2003 because the San Francisco hotel was a bit more expensive. That was Deb's first con. I clearly remember arriving at the hotel very late at night. Kat was not arriving until the next day, CP was in the shower. A stranger opened up the door. “Deb?” I said having only the briefest contact with her on our B&B Yahoo group. She said yes, it was her and I immediately felt very comfortable with her. This feeling of being immediately comfortable with a “stranger” is something that happens often in B&B Fandom in general, yet still a strange and wonderful feeling when it happens to someone like me.
Cyndi and I had been coming since South of Oz, but didn't really know each other that well. She would often find me and Kat and the three of us would chat – or rather she and Kat would do most of the chatting. It seemed to me during those early years that she had much more in common with Kat than with me. However, I was soon to find out how wrong I was. That same year, 2004, her roommates “abandoned” her as well and she needed a place to stay. Since it was going to be just Deb and me, we were happy to have her room with us.
Cyndi and I had been coming since South of Oz, but didn't really know each other that well. She would often find me and Kat and the three of us would chat – or rather she and Kat would do most of the chatting. It seemed to me during those early years that she had much more in common with Kat than with me. However, I was soon to find out how wrong I was. That same year, 2004, her roommates “abandoned” her as well and she needed a place to stay. Since it was going to be just Deb and me, we were happy to have her room with us.
Are you seeing the Beauty & the Beast magic at work here?
It was me, Deb and Cyndi for a while until, in 2008, the five of us came "together again for the first time." We all knew each other, but had not all been roomies at one time before. That year in New Jersey, the year I organized the convention, was wonderful. The hotel rooms were all suites and there was plenty of room for the five of us. We all blended so well! We all have different personalities, yet, we all have major things in common too. I could not have asked for a better group of friends if I had been able to pick them out at that original South of Oz convention!
It was me, Deb and Cyndi for a while until, in 2008, the five of us came "together again for the first time." We all knew each other, but had not all been roomies at one time before. That year in New Jersey, the year I organized the convention, was wonderful. The hotel rooms were all suites and there was plenty of room for the five of us. We all blended so well! We all have different personalities, yet, we all have major things in common too. I could not have asked for a better group of friends if I had been able to pick them out at that original South of Oz convention!
Most recently, Tamara has joined us. She was a guest in 2009. Deb organized that year's convention, and as is customary, Tamara sat at Deb's/our banquet table. We were delighted to get to know her and I remember having several long conversations with her about creating Catherine's crystal necklace for the show. When she said she wanted to come to the 2010 convention as an attendee, we were happy to have her stay with us. I certainly never thought I'd be rooming with the creator of such an important part of our show!
So, if anyone out there should attend their first Beauty & the Beast Convention and come home feeling a little left out - take it from me - with a little patience, things might just work out better than you could have ever imagined!
So, if anyone out there should attend their first Beauty & the Beast Convention and come home feeling a little left out - take it from me - with a little patience, things might just work out better than you could have ever imagined!
